My mom used to tell me when I was younger that I would do things, (please excuse my french brothers and sisters), "half-a$$". When I cleaned my room, she said it, when I washed the dishes, she said it, and any type of chore or task, she said it. Sometimes I would agree and sometimes I wouldn't. I noticed today that I carry this same action in some of my responsibilities today, or at least I THINK I do.
I am a wife now, and I know by far, I am not the perfect wife. I ask my husband to be a little patient with me, and sometimes, it seems as though that he is, and sometimes he isnt. After working 8 hours a day, sitting 45 minutes on the metro, going home, dealing with a dog, fulfilling my church responsibilities, school, etc, etc, yes, I get tired-and sometimes lazy. I don't always feel like cooking and cleaning and washing clothes. I love to cook and CAN cook, but I've never been Mrs. Homemaker and sometimes don't keep the house as tidy as my husband would like me to. I REALLY have to be in a cleaning mode which happens maybe once a month.
I feel like my husband thinks kind of like my mom, like I do things "half-(you know what). He comments on my lack of prayer, reading, studying and lack of taking care of the house. He made a few comments to me yesterday that really had me to start to think about this stuff. Some I agreed with and some I didnt. It just made me think: Am I half-(you know what) in my walk with Christ, the things I do for God and the church, and as a wife? Don't get me wrong, this is not me bashing my husband- but it made me think about a lot. I want to be better all around, that's all and maybe it's God using my husband to get me there. I don't know, we will see.......
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3 comments:
Wow the more you write the more insight you give to people Angel; especially when you are so open and honest. Sometimes it is very important for us to look inside ourselves and ask the question of why we will a certain way. This has to take us looking beyond the surface feelings/thoughts/behaviors i.e. laziness, sadness, etc, but for us to really dig deep into our bodies and see what is going on. Perhaps you can work on your prayer life by praying about the things that are bothering you. I can't really give any advice about spiritual life as mine has almost come to a screeching halt. I'm hoping that I can truly use this New Year to start over and get back on track. I want and need to put God first. Hopefully through prayer and blogging you'll be able to work things out.
Much Love,
jwriter
Thanks Joey and thanks for the advice.
Wow...I'm speechless!!! This was good, powerful and deep. I mean to see how one can look inside themselves to see "themselves" because in all honesty thats how we change when we can finally see ourselve in the true color of what we are. We all have things about us that need changing (LORD KNOWS I DO) and it won't change until we can do what you have done Angel, look beyond the flaws to see and acknowledge what needs changing.
Lets grow together in this. You change, I change, we change, TOGETHER IN CHRIST!!!!!!
PS: You are not a "Half (you know what) I wouldn't dare consider you that. But I will say this - You are more awesome and great then you think or can see in yourself!!!!
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